Perhaps our greatest limitation in working toward win-win solutions is that each of us comes to the table with deep-seated ideas about conflict and powerfully ingrained strategies.
Principles for Win-Win Negotiations, Roger Fisher and William Ury
Here are 4 strategies that will help you get a WIN WIN in your conflicts. The best leaders apply all 4 concurrently, however applying even one at a time will help you and your team resolve conflict.
1. Separate people from the problem
Focus on events or behaviors rather than the parties involved.
2. Focus on interests, not positions
Do not take a position and defend it or bargain for it but to focus on the interest behind the position.
3. Generate options for mutual gain
Brainstorm for multiple options, keeping in mind the goal of mutual gain.
4. The choice of objective criteria
Try to identify measurable ways to assess the value of the suggestions.
Here are some key points to remember:
Be a model of calm and control
Don't give in to emotional outbursts
Don't assume people are being difficult intentionally
Find a quiet place in to resolve conflicts....privately
Set some ground rules for discussions
No raising of voices
This is not a debate
Speak only for yourself..."I" phrases
Confront the issues, not the people
Maintain or enhance self-esteem
You can also communicate these points to your teams, as expectations. In the moment, when conflict triggers your sympathetic nervous system, it can be hard to remain in your professional or leadership stance.
Nadine Greiner, Ph.D. provides Executive Coaching and Human Resources solutions. Her mission is to make the executive experience exceptionally enjoyable and effective. She believes that the world needs great leaders, and has dedicated her career to helping them.
As an organization psychologist and former corporate CEO, Dr. Nadine understands the pressures and demands executives face. She offers her clients the high expertise that only comes with three decades of consulting success, and a dual Ph.D. in Organization Development and Clinical Psychology. Dr. Nadine is an in-demand speaker, teaches in doctoral programs, and coaches other consultants. She is the author of two books: ‘The Art of Executive Coaching: Secrets to Unlock Leadership Performance’, and of ‘Stress-less Leadership: How to Lead in Business and in Life’. amazon.com/author/nadinegreiner